spend less & celebrate more

i don't mean to be a debbie downer but to be honest sometimes the holiday season makes me sad. maybe because i miss my family. maybe because i know their are so many out there struggling to make ends meet just so their loved ones can have a merry christmas. maybe because christmas advertisements & decorations flood places every which (a few months early at that) way we turn that it shoves the idea to buy, buy, buy so blatantly in our faces that it causes us to forget what that special day is truly about. sometimes i really hate the power of consumerism. the theory that increasing the consumption of goods is economically beneficial does not necessarily equate self happiness or contentment. in fact it leaves us wanting more. sometimes i hate that the meaning of holidays has become more about materialistic things than it has about the gift of time with loved ones & celebrating the birth of jesus.

brown apple betty

next to an apple crisp, my favorite apple dessert is a brown apple betty. it's a no fuss warm & comforting dessert that tastes such little prep time. its easy to throw together as their is little mixing & even less mess! i absolutely love the crispness of the bread & much prefer it to the crust of an apple pie. topped with whip cream or vanilla ice cream & you're not to far away from a wholesome goodie at your fingertips.

tea time

as a little girl one of my favorite play time activities was tea time with my cousin or stuffed animals. one year i was gifted a pink plastic tea set that once tea was poured, depending in the temperature, the cup would deepen from a pink to a deep red. it had matching butter knives & biscuits that magically turned colors when i would pretend to spread jam on it. id play tea time for hours & hours.

except for trading in my plastic tea set for the real one, not much has changed as now a woman in my late twenties. i still love tea time but instead of non living objects as guests that don't talk back...i can enjoy tea time with the great conversation in the company of great girlfriend.

his love

God's love is...

a source of healing
a ray of hope
a place for comfort
a gift of grace
a powerful reminder of true unconditional love

pyrex hunting

sissy first took a liking to my vintage pyrex's when she came over for dessert. since then ive managed to convince her to come along for the hunt & start her own collection. luckily, her mom had a few in storage including a yellow loaf pan & a few bowls. i was also able to find her two more pieces to add to her collection both of which were excellent condition. i was tempted to keep the ombré bowl for myself as i had never seen anything like it but i parted with it knowing id find luck elsewhere & that she was just building her little pyrex family. happiness tastes much sweeter when shared!

next thing you know, just a few minutes later...karma blessed me with a divided dish in the pattern i had been searching for. score!

belated birthday post

the bff took me out for my birthday at what has come to be one of my favorite places, in napa, to have brunch. everything was superb including my favorite part of any meal..dessert! i love anything infused with lavender. from lotion scents all the way to food! my lavender creme brûlée surely didn't disappoint!

brix also proved to be much better in person than what the website shows as far as a wedding venue is concerned. we walked around after brunch & enjoyed the intimate setting it offered.

bestie & bruschetta

today, i enjoyed a leisurely lunch with the bestie that involved a menu with extensive options for bruschetta. we left with our bellies full & satisfied with our chosen picks. proscuitto with figs & apple with brie were both our top favorites.

thanksgiving

part of thanksgiving day fun is the traditional pre-celebration with the bf that i always look forward to. this year we visited a place both he & i haven't been to since high school. we picked up iced mint mojitos & climbed our way up the rock to enjoy this breath taking view.

after, we got a bit of exercise before heading to have dinner. it was a small celebration with tons of yummy food. I made jalepeno cheddar bacon corn bread & bacon deviled eggs.

Paying It Forward With Pyrex

after a drought from thrifting & leaving empty handed, last month (my birth month) the pyrex gods were surely with me. they brought upon massive luck & an abundance of vintage pyrex pieces were added to my small & humble family. i stumbled upon this spring blossom butter dish on an impromptu visit to good will & for the whopping price of $1.99, who wouldn't pick up this cutie?! although i already had this, i couldnt resist and knew i wanted to give it to someone as a gift. spring blossom print evokes a sense of happiness with its retro feel. or thats atleast thats how it makes me feel, so i wanted to pass those happy feelings to someone else.

Feed Me Well & Nourish My Soul

i woke up early to start my day, most of which, consisted with a lot of time by myself. much needed me time was a must as i needed to replenish my attitude towards work. the past two days have been dreadfully stressful that i found myself feeling bitter & extremely frustrated. no matter how hard the work place can be i try to always remain thankful to the fact that in today's tough economy i even have a job. however, these past two days have proved to be so stressful that gratitude was buried amongst the bitterness. thankfully, i was able to get back to that feeling of gratitude with some quiet time & girl nights in.

also, my spirit is in need of nourishment. i realize just how equally important as is nourishing our physical bodies. when negative feelings easily evade my mind instead of positivity & hope, i know i must stay faithful & diligent in my daily devotionals & prayer.

birthday wishes

i wished for something simple that i always pray about. i hope it comes true before entering a new decade next year.

bench

taking time out to be still & remember all my blessings.

Good Company

theirs nothing like the company of great friends to bring a smile onto my face.

days of our lives

i woke up with a heavy & sad heart. we all have our fair share of struggles & burdens & some days are worse while other days are better. also, after speaking to a few friends it seems we are all just trying to make it through life's up & downs. today was just one of those days where it seemed a bit much. i pray for gods outpouring love to carry us through our challenges.

though every day may not be a good day, their is something good in everyday.

more instgram photos

let go & let flow with one of my favorite aroma therapy candles.

i hardly ever buy any new make-up, so to change it up a bit im using different styles of lashes. got an amazing deal on them!

such adorable cupcakes at my girlfriends baby shower.

i was content with making do with my usual hiking attire until the fiance forced me to pick up new gear that was more appropriate.  the shoes have better grip and dri-fit clothing left me to wonder why i waited so long to invest in great hiking gear. they definitely make a huge difference.

italian ice & frozen custard, an east coast treat, that i finally got to try for the first time. i'll definitely be back to try more flavors. what a delicious combination the two make.

Me Time

happiness on this saturday night is a good book with the candles lit snuggled underneath a warm blanket.

Happy 4th Of July

my fourth of July as told by pictures from instagram!

photos

thought id share some instagram photos.

frenchie friday

getting up is so much harder when my love bug snuggles next to me. i have a plentiful supply of kisses & cuddles just for iggy.

blocked understanding

i confess that what i want from jesus sometimes blinds me to
what i need from him and what he longs to teach me. i get repeatedly impatient & wonder if he hears me. i pray for him to remove my blindness and gently correct me so that i can know and live his truth & not mine.

Just Be

how can we ever be
who we are to become
if we can't be
who we are now

lola's visit

a few years has passed since her death & its been seven years since i last saw her. yesterday night i dreamt of her. she was in the intensive care unit of the hospital i worked for. she wasnt expected to make it but fortunately days later she was able to transfer to a lower level acuity unit, into the medical surgical floor. my favorite unit that i most prefer to float to. i asked my favorite charge nurse if somehow she can assign my favorite nurse to care for my lola. after kindly requesting those arrangements i stopped by lola's room to spend some time with her before going home to change. 

i greeted her with my usual kiss on her cheek. she was in great spirits & said in simple perfect english "i'll be ok, dont worry so much" & then said with conviction as her eyes looked at me intently "you will be ok." these were the only words she said to me as i sat beside her, felt her love radiate through me, & kissed her hand & cheek before i left to shower & change. 

i came back shortly & found her room empty. the nurse told me she went home.

most of my thoughts throughout the day has been trying to decipher if that dream meant anything. there was a period in time where it was to be decided if my mom & her sisters were going to pull the plug on her so she can finally rest & go home. was her being in the intensive care unit only to recover by transfering to the medical surgical floor a direct reflection of her health during the last few years of her life? it was. whats the meaning (if there is one) of my dream? could she somehow be trying to tell me something? or perhaps its just my subconscious manifesting..

whatever it was i was happy to see her again. the color in her face returned & she was no longer pale. her eyes were so full of life. she was beaming. lola held my hand firmly & spoke to me with such certainty in her voice. those two sentences means a lot to me, given our communication when i last saw her wasnt much, since i lost my ability to speak my native tongue nor was lola able to speak english.

i missed her face. i miss the sense of protection she always shielded me with. she was my refuge from spankings. she gave me extra money so that i could buy more of my favorite candy at the nearest tsiange. im sure she also spared me from potential spankings by rescuing me away from my mom as i loudly protested & rebelled against nap time. i would always lay on her lap & she would tickle my forehead until i fell asleep. 

i never slept though my dream to find out what "going home" meant. if she went back home to our house by the hospital we use to live near or if she finally found peace & rest with god. but im glad i got to feel her presence. 

i miss her being next to me. i miss her love. i miss her terribly. 


though the dream was fleeting, what ill always have are the memories to look back on that fills me with so much joy.

lola, i miss you more than you will ever know. thank you for loving me.

life lessons of a 27 yr. old

theirs a part of me that has to let go.
the wiser, self-improved, & better me is waiting on the other end.
im ready to meet her.

ever lasting

god was intentional when he made all pleasurable things (food, sex, material possessions, money, & even life itself) temporal. to show that he alone, satisfies forever.

i pray for stronger willpower to always keep him at the very center of my life in all that i do.

the choice of marriage

in our twenties we are still young. people who choose to wait until after their twenties to get married do so because we now have the option to wait. many have chosen to save marriage for later. to focus on careers. to travel. to have the freedom to do as we please when we please. i respect this choice.

in our twenties we are still young. people who choose to get married do so because they want to, not because they are forced to. i respect this choice as well.

in our twenties we are still young. some are just trying to figure out if marriage is even a choice they want to make. i also respect the choice in weighing out our options to carefully consider what's truly right for our own life path.

holy guacamole

theirs just something about the slowness of sundays that make leisurely trips to the grocery store much more sweeter. i had a sudden craving for guacamole & making it fresh is the best way to go.

loving yourself

i am learning to love the woman god created me to be. they say you are own worst critic & i believe this to be true. i am my harshest critic & often beat myself up plenty of times, even in the most trivial things that i know i can only have so much control over. the critical parts that continues to be hard on myself yearns to be met with same amount of love, kindness, & acceptance i show my loved ones. im a work in progress.

holding hands & handbags

yesterday i went with a friend to hold her hand & offer moral support as she finally did what she was slightly nervous about over the past week or so. on the way out i noticed a thrift store right across the street & asked if we could make a very quick stop before heading home. to my luck i came across a purse that ive been wanting but keep passing up every time i see the hefty price tags. i love older/used things. older houses, older cars, used books, used & older purses, & vintage handbags!

fashion friday

ive been on the everlane website browsing for the past several minutes & ive fallen in love with their philosophy. they've cut the middle men out which provides consumers the opportunity to own luxurious basic pieces for a 1/3 of the price. im all about basic pieces as a key staple in anyones ward robe & some are offered at less than $30. im also a huge fan of luxurious fabrics at the fraction of the cost, especially if i intend to get some mileage on the wear, and everlane seems to be a wonderful compromise. the v-necks are $15! what i am curious about, as its an important factor (for me) when considering purchasing clothes, is how it will hold up after several washes. im no longer this carefree teenager nor am i in my early 20's wearing a clothing item once, only to not be worn again. i love most of my clothes to carry through trends & transition throughout the seasons. my love for basic pieces started several years ago when i found myself shopping for solid colored key staples instead of cute patterns that i easily get sick of after one wear. since then creating a timeless wardrobe with a conscious and financially literate approach is important to me. over the years have evolved into a practical shopper & i like to carefully & mindfully choose what i purchase. 

monday market

berkeley bowl is one of those markets i love grocery shopping at. they have a vast selection of produce along with a deli that serves a yummy array of foods & they even have an olive bar. today i picked up a few ingredients for dinner and my favorite veggie chips.

team us

we were on our way to a baptism when we had one of our more serious conversations in the car. "you shouldn't be anxious, you should be excited," he said enthusiastically. our future is bright & each year we've been together it truly gets better & better. throughout the decade we've been together ive seen our relationship overcome its fair share of challenges. no relationship is perfect & mine certainly isnt but with each challenge therein lies the opportunity to refine our problem solving skills as a couple. we've been one another's rock, cheerleader, & constant source of encouragement.

we are also each others support system as we go through our own personal struggles. he's assuaged my self doubts & is my reminder to keep trying & to never give up. he has been my shoulder to cry on during times of disappointment & is my gentle reminder to not be so hard on myself. it's been a tad bit difficult to hold my head up high as i continue to walk on this road i set upon years ago, in order to accomplish my dream career, but his positive thoughts in spite of feeling discouraged are my little rays of hope to keep going.

it's a great feeling having my boyfriend as one of my best friends. i was never that girl to believe prince charming was a prerequisite to happiness but having him in my life all these years (firstly as a friend & now as a boyfriend) has added a sense of richness i never expected to have. im thankful. we have each others back. our future is bright & im hopeful.

je t'amie french garden

it took me awhile to find a spring scented candle that i liked given spring is all about flowers & im not a huge fan of overpowering flowery scents. i find most to be sickeningly cloying & in the end im left with a pounding headache. french garden, i expected to be a highly perfumed candle but what i got was a sweet natural peach fragrance with an ever subtle hint of lavender. it's soft, romantic, & alluring.

the label is adorable & out of my bath & body works candles these are superior in burning evenly. the wicks burned nicely & i had no trouble of an uneven wax pooling causing one or more of the wicks to constantly go out (as is the case with my winter candle).

french garden also reminds me of bath & body works paris amour scent. i was gifted the perfume from my best friend & fell in love with its fruity floral fragrance. the quality & longevity of the scent also surprised me, in that, the staying power (for an eau du toilette) matches that of my eau du parfums. definitely a winner!

i hope the paris line in both candles & body products are here to stay because it's definitely becoming my favorite!

april shower me with your love

one of the closest people to me got married last saturday. i cannot begin to describe how it feels to stand beside a dear girlfriend whom you are proud & thankful to have in your life simply because of the person they are. i felt truly honored to be part of her special day.

one look at each other, when i entered her bridal suite, & tears welled up in our eyes. she took my breath away. she was stunningly gorgeous, well poised, & graceful. her wedding is another shiny memory that i have managed to add on my list of fun filled memories for 2012.