for you, my god

i don't want to live a lackluster, lackadaisical, uninspired christian life. may the worldy view of success continue to dim in comparison to the deep, life altering, & unchanging view of sucess & love according to god. i want to live a life that matters to his kingdom. 

heart check

she spoke life giving words & prayed for me during seasons of extreme discouragement. she left a life restlenses & financial comfort to seek gods calling through an intensive 9 month christian centered mentoring & leadership training. what a true inspiration! she's become my mentor & im so thankful god made our paths cross. im thankful for this spiritual relationship that allows me to grow stronger in god's word. 

since coming back from her training, we have our almost weekly dates. sometimes we meet for coffee. sometimes we take nature walks. we check in with one another, pray over each other, & have "heart checks." is our heart aligned with our god given purpose? how's our heart feeling today & how can we better serve each other as sisters in christ? she blesses my heart. 

not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, & all the more as you see the day drawing near.   hebrews 10:25

juice cleanse..the beginning

juice cleanse as a way to detox has been on my to do list for quite sometime. however, the cost of it has always deterred me from taking the full 3-5 day plunge. pressed juicery (at in store locations only) offers a one day cleanse & i thought this would be a great way to see if i can even last a day without solid foods. well..what do ya know, i powered through the day feeling full & confident that perhaps i can last a few more days of relying solely on nutrient dense juices from plants & fruits.  they recommend one bottle of juice every 2-3 hours but each bottle left me feeling so full, so i was stoked to have some left over juices for the next day. 

vanilla almond has always been my favorite from pressed juicery. its creamy, filling, & the medjool dates add a perfect amount of natural sweetness. other notable favorites were the greens #3  (kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, cucumber, apple, celery, lemon, & ginger) & roots #2 (apple, carrots, ginger, kale, parsley, romaine, spinach). the chlorophyll water is probably the cleanest water i have ever tasted! ive been reading & researching the benefits of chlorophyll & it looks like i may have to visit the vitamin store soon. 

aritzia

i recently introduced a co-worker to aritzia. it has been my go to place to shop on the very rare occasion that im in the mood to add staple pieces to my wardrobe. they are a bit on the pricey side but the quality is superb. im careful with what i choose making sure each piece can be wearable throughout all 4 seasons. she absolutely loved aritzia & picked up several items while i left empty handed as my search for a durable winter coat turned out unsuccessful. i donated most of my jackets as ive put quite the mileage on 2 in particular & it shows! like worn down..really shows! im still on the hunt for a jacket since winter will soon arrive & i have nothing heavy enough to keep me warm. in the meantime im hoping for layers of clothing & a huge scarf to keep me warm until i can find coat durable & heavy enough to not make me shiver (i get cold very easily).

aritiza..oh aritzia..i always leave lusting over items i can't have. i love their scarf blankets. it's huge, chunky, & can be wrapped around several times. all the traits of a great scarf in my opinion! & that sweater..oh that alpaca sweater. so soft & cozy as if i were wrapped in clouds of fluff! i wanted to take home both these items. however, i refrained. ive gotten quite good at this over the years *pats myself on shoulder*. it was fun to play dress up while it lasted. 

15, october

Jesus Calling | 15, October


"TRY TO STAY CONSCIOUS OF ME as you go step by step through this day. My Presence with you is both a promise and a protection. My final statement just before I ascended into heaven was: Surely I am with you always. That promise was for all of My followers, without exception.
The promise of My Presence is a powerful protection. As you journey through your life, there are numerous pitfalls along the way. Many voices clamor for your attention, enticing you to go their way. A few steps away from your true path are pits of self-pity and despair, plateaus of pride and self-will. If you take your eyes off Me and follow another's way, you are in grave danger. Even well-meaning friends can lead you astray if you let them usurp My place in your life. The way to stay on the path of Life is to keep your focus on Me. Awareness of My Presence is your best protection."

Matthew 28:20; Hebrews 12:1-2

---

Lord God, 

During this season of awareness, help me learn to be still & listen. I am tempted to busy my schedule to avoid your voice because listening sometimes means dealing with with the darkness, self condemnation, self pity, despair, & these hard truths you are opening my eyes to. Help me to remember you are my place of rest. You are my protection.

staying in scripture

im having a really hard time staying consistent, daily, with being in the scripture. i would do it for a few days consecutively then miss a few days. pick back up then fall off my daily schedule. im feeling discouraged so i researched what has helped other women stay focused in filling their lives with HIS truth & with the glorious life-giving words of the bible. 

ive come up with a few guidelines & ideas that i may implement during my daily quest to seek god. 

1) heading to work a few minutes early to  read in my car

2) set my alarm to remind myself to learn & memorize verses

3) find an app or podcast that i can hear the bible being read. great for excercising or when walking iggy 

4) schedule weekly reading plan on my planner

5) have an accountability partner that checks in on you or sends encouraging verses throughout the day

6) decorate home with scripture that ill see throughout the day

frenchie fridays

im looking forward to a weekend filled with birthdays, baptism, volunteer, good food, & even greater company!

its been awhile since ive posted a photo of iggy but make no mistake..im still as smitten as when we first took him home. he really is my little ray of sunshine.

i started my granny squares for my fall throw a few days ago & as im crocheting iggy just so lovingly wedges himself next to me to keep me company. such a sweet boy! 

september scripture challenge

i'm participating in my first bible study challenge. every morning id write in my prayer journal whatever is in my heart..sorta like a conversation with god. however, i find myself going on & on, sometimes thanking jesus sometimes ranting with no direction. i found kristin schmuckers september scripture challenge through a hashtag via instagram & thought what a wonderful opportunity to read the bible with direction. to be more disciplined & intentional every morning drawing nearer to christ. 

im in day 2 of the reading galations so i thought id share my thoughts.

no one can please god by simply obeying the law. so we put our faith in christ jesus & god accepted us because of our faith. galations 2:16

i have died but christ lives in me. & i now live by faith in the son of god, who loved me & gave his life for me. i don't turn my back on god's undeserved kindness. it we can be acceptable to god by obeying the law, it was useless for christ to die. galations 2:20-21

i grew up in strict practicing catholic home, praying the rosary every saturdays, bible school every sundays, & also attending a private catholic school. while everyones experience is different, later on in life i felt as if i were operating on auto pilot not really knowing christ as i should have given my up bringing. i followed both cultural and catholic mores. it became about the do's & dont's. the should's & should not's. the good & bad. the guilt when i didn't do what i suppose to. the praise when i felt like i earned gods love because i did something right. their was a point in my life where i wanted nothing to do with organized religion. 8 years ago my best friend invited me to a christian church & my life has change since then. i no longer operate on auto pilot rather i seek relational union with christ. i put my faith in jesus christ & him alone. 

i'm thankful for this path he is leading me to. for his guidance & blessings. for his unconditional & undeserved love wether i do something right or wrong. 

hello!

my 100 happy days has somehow made it's way onto the pages of my prayer journal instead of this blog like it initially started. i haven't had the interest to take photos to go along with it but ive kept on documenting an attitude of gratitude somewhere private instead. 

ive often thought about this blog & how id love for it to be a space where i pour my heart out with honest vulnerability. but that's scary. since i was a young girl i loved writing words on paper about life, my thoughts, & my feelings. i have many paper journals to account for this. i think there's a part of us that longs to share our story, for memories sake..even if our only audience is the one who is writing their own life's story. so ive been pouring out my feelings & experiences on paper where i need not worry about being judged or silenced. it's been therapeutic & freeing. 

my blog has been quiet for almost 3 months now. ive been spending some much needed quiet time with god. prayerfully asking him for discernment about what it looks like to lead a life of courage. 2014 has been full of quiet alone time & solitude, reconciling with myself, digging deeper in my faith so i can become who God designed to be.

much to often when im presented with challenges or when i don't know the answer i retreat to myself. not wanting to come out of my shell until ive "figured it out." but if theirs anything ive learned about this walk with christ..it's the importance of sharing. i have been blessed by words of encouragement & personal testimony that has tremendously transformed my heart & mind but ive done very little in the sharing aspect. it's taken years of being in bible study & small groups but it's only recently that ive begun to share & to expose a heart that is sometimes uncertain & distrustful of my own creator but hopes to love & grow through christ more daily. 

day 7 | 100 happy days

the hubby & i showed up to easter service at church a bit earlier than usual since ive been volunteering the last 2 weeks. it really has been so wonderful to see new faces at church & faces whom i haven't seen in awhile. today, on easter christ rose from the dead! to truly feel the depth of gods love for us brings me to tears. i get so emotional at times thinking about it. for god so loved the world, that he sent his one & only son to die for us. 

after easter sunday service we had brunch with everyone at church then ran a few errands. bbq-ed dinner & dined al fresco. 

god, thank you for you for loving us. help me to desire to know you better, so that i may keep you at the forefront of all that i do. thank you for the food on our table. 

day 6 | 100 happy days

ive been thinking about adding more succulents to my collection & by collection i mean two. succulents require far less maintenance than most flowers/plants that i know, so it's no wonder why the two that i have are still alive. succulents suite me quite well.

day 3 | 100 happy days

remember those gorgeous flowers i saw on my walk with iggy? as it turns out they awaken & sleep! on my drive home from bible study i noticed they were shut. to be sure i was seeing correctly i dragged the hubby for a late night walk & lo & behold! they do sleep at night time! i thought that was pretty cool!

i walked iggy again today & love how they remind me to always lean into the light! you blossom that way! :) 

day 5 | 100 happy days

walking towards our car, from a wonderful lunch with my girlfriend i saw these blooming peonies & what a wonderful sight it was! peonies are such cheerful flowers.

day 4 | 100 happy days

while grabbing tea i came across this little free library. i read about it months ago & had always hoped to run into one. i love the concept of a community library where you're free to take one and/or leave a book. i took a small book "what to expect from reading the bible." ill make a quick stop tomorrow to donate some books. 

day 2 | 100 happy days

these cheerfully colored flowers made today's walk with iggy even better. spring is in the air! though my least favorite season.. i love that flowers come alive!

day 1 | 100 happy days

im taking part in the 100 happy days challenge & thought id document it on my blog.

today i was able to cook dinner for the hubby & i. while this isn't anything out of the ordinary i hadn't expected to be home until midnight from work. i unexpectedly got canceled which allowed me do more spring cleaning & cook dinner. filipino bistek was on the menu for tonight. happiness is in filipino comfort food.

on failure

i don't think ive reached that point where i can fully claim it. 

or say it with conviction. 

maybe because i have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel on this particular road in my life. 

sad. indifferent. constant wondering. hopeful. anxious. the constant comparing & wondering why & when.

they say the road to success is riddled with bumps & failures. 

im learning to own my failures. embrace them even. 

it's only when i own up to my failures that i release this power of shame it's been holding over me.  

one step at a time. 

come again

the howling winds

bent trees outside

the sounds of peltering rain

scent of petrichor

alluring warmth of being indoors 

i miss rainy weather all the time

saved by his grace

feelings tucked away, thoughts in my mind, & questions of which i have no answers for..they all really seem to hit me all at once. at a much more deeper level during that time of the month. it feels more intense. call it pms but during this time i don't sleep at the time i usually do because i'm haunted by these emotional thoughts that somehow land on my twitter. tonight it's here on my blog.

after having deactivated my facebook account for 3 years, i logged on tonight to get more information  about church that i wasn't able to find through the website. my pastor emailed me about the hubby & i volunteering to help support & set up at our new location this coming sunday. after quickly gathering the information i browsed through mutual friends between my pastor & i. a list popped up of old friends i met through the college ministry & women's bible study i was a part of in my early twenties. i was suddenly transported back to when i began my walk with christ through first presbyterian church at berkeley. i clicked on the profiles of the women i use to gather with on an almost weekly basis. it was safe place for me to ask questions, wrestle thoughts of my belief, confusion, & disbelief. it was a supportive environment that helped me grow towards leading a christ centered life. 

prior to logging on facebook i was feeling rather down. i felt a bit sad at how some things in my life hadn't changed. i was bogged down by self pity, self loathe, & lots of disappointment. 

when i clicked on the profiles of these women that i had lost touch with, it was apparent their lives had moved forward in the sense of getting married, having children, being engaged, or attending graduate school. then it occurred to me that my life wasn't as stagnant as i thought. one big & very worthy change that has happened since those days of attending college ministry every wednesday nights & women's bible study every thursday nights was my love & dedication to jesus christ. it has grown immensely over the years. my walk with christ started from being baptized & raised in a catholic upbringing until high school. then i strayed. i went from not being sure about what i believed in anymore, to researching & participating in other religious events to see if it resonated with me, to attending first presbyterian church at berkeley to wrestle with the questions in my heart about religion, spirituality, & where it belonged in my life. 

over the years ive made it a priority to attend church on sundays, attend bible study, & read his word or daily devotionals to sustain & grow me. like most christians, while i still wrestle with questions & gods purpose & plan for me, i am very much proactive in building a closer relationship with christ. their is so much richness because my heart has been opened to receive jesus christ as my savior. this is one aspect in my life that i can truly say has changed & its changed me for the better. 

in my early twenties i wasn't even sure if i wanted to believe. now, i'm in my thirties embracing my savior. im not as stagnant as i think. 

random list

- ive binged on episodes of scandal for the past two weeks. i can't recall the last time an american show has held my attention for longer than an episode but its a nice change from my documentaries & korean dramas. if only netflix carried the beginning episodes of season 3 so i can catch up. i refuse to pay $2 per episode.

- i go days of eating healthy then fall off.

- my month long ban on rice & sweets has ended. i'll continue holding off on rice until the lenten season is over. sweets i'll allow a cheat day once a week.

- made a few trips to goodwill to donate clothes. my mind feels a little less cluttered, not to mention my space in the closet looks a bit more tidy.

- almost made it to a month of training iggy to sleep in his kennel. alas, his cuteness won us over & he's back in bed with us. i wake up, sometimes cranky, because he loves to hog up our bed. its our faults..i know.

- i've put my cricut on sale through craigslist & sold it as a bundle pack with cartridges. sweet deal if you ask me. i'm hoping it will go to a good home. some please buy it.

pavlova!

im making my way down the list of my 2014 cooking goals. cooking & baking dishes that always seemed to intimidate me.  a few weeks ago i had a girlfriends day in date with my gf & off we were to making pavlova! she gave me a few tips regarding baking meringue as i remembered cooking them in the past & my meringue never turned out right. hence, why its on my 2014 cooking goals. it turned out aboslutely perfect with enough crunch & chewiness! it was a success & i was happy the turn out. i made fresh the whipped topping & cut up strawberries & mango. what i love about the pavlova is the flexibility in taste by changing up the fruits based on whats in season! i can envision an autumn pavlova with figs, apples, & pears! 

thankful list

ever have one of those days where you can't shake yourself out of the negative thoughts pervading your mind? today was one of those days. i usually have one of those days during that time of the month along side my migraines. i wasted most of my day in bed recovering from pains of what felt like my head was going to blow up. my day started late. it started on the wrong foot. i got nothing done.

when i find myself have pity party, it helps tremendously to make a list of what I'm thankful for. its a healthy reminder not to sweat the small stuff & to be thankful for lifes little blessings. today i am thankful for...

+ the sound of the pitter patter of rain outside my window
+ a wonderful husband i get to sleep next to
+ being able to find milk powder at a much cheaper price than what whole foods offered
+ the burning candle that makes our room smell cozy & clean
+ tomorrows day off to do what i didn't get done today

compost cookie

last week i tried my hand at baking compost cookies inspired by momofuku milkbars recipe. i stopped by spun sugar to pick up the glucose powder it called for & got to baking. 

given that i gave up my processed & artificial sugar for the month of february, i couldn't taste the final product. however, i was assured by the compliments that this recipe is a keeper. i made the cookies smaller than what the recipe called for so instead of baking it for 18 minutes, i changed the baking time to 8 minutes. 

recipe:

• 225 grams (16 Tbsp. or 2 sticks) butter, at room temperature
• 200 grams (1 cup) granulated sugar
• 150 grams (2⁄3 cup, tightly packed) light brown sugar
• 50 grams (2 Tbsp.) glucose
• 1 egg
• 2 grams (1/2 tsp.) vanilla extract
• 225 grams (1 1/3 cups) flour
• 2 grams (1/2 tsp.) baking powder
• 1 1/2 grams (1/4 tsp.) baking soda
• 4 grams (1 tsp.) kosher salt
• 150 grams (3/4 cup) mini chocolate chips
• 100 grams (1/2 cup) mini butterscotch chips
• 1/4 recipe Graham Crust (85 grams or 1/2 cup; see separate recipe)
• 40 grams (1/3 cup) old-fashioned rolled oats
• 5 grams (2 1/2 tsp.) ground coffee
• 50 grams (2 cups) potato chips
• 50 grams (1 cup) mini pretzels

directions:

Combine the butter, sugars and glucose in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and cream together on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the egg and vanilla, and beat for 7 to 8 minutes. 

Reduce the speed to low and add the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Mix just until the dough comes together, no longer than 1 minute. (Do not walk away from the machine during this step, or you will risk overmixing the dough.) Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula. 

Still on low speed, add the chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, graham crust, oats and coffee, and mix just until incorporated, about 30 seconds. Add the potato chips and pretzels, and paddle, still on low speed, until just incorporated. Be careful not to overmix or break too many of the pretzels or potato chips. (You deserve a pat on the back if one of your cookies bakes off with a whole pretzel standing up in the center.) 

Using a 2-ounce ice cream scoop (or a 1⁄3-cup measure), portion out the dough onto a parchment-lined sheet pan. Pat the tops of the cookie dough domes flat. Wrap the sheet pan tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour, or up to 1 week. Do not bake your cookies from room temperature—they will not bake properly. 

Heat the oven to 375°. 

Arrange the chilled dough a minimum of 4 inches apart on parchment- or Silpat-lined sheet pans. Bake for 18 minutes. The cookies will puff, crackle and spread. After 18 minutes, they should be very faintly browned on the edges yet still bright yellow in the center. Give them an extra minute or so if that's not the case. 

Cool the cookies completely on the sheet pans before transferring to a plate or an airtight container for storage. At room temp, cookies will keep fresh for 5 days; in the freezer, they will keep for 1 month.

Pasta & Flan

for two months my church has gathered to cook & provide meals for my pastor & his growing family. i can only imagine how crazy it must be for a mom when a new baby arrives, so i love kind & thoughtful gestures like these that help in ways that can make a huge difference in someones day.

it was my turn to cook so i opted for a simple pasta salad. fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, spinach, & chicken apple sausage tossed in pasta with roasted garlic. for dessert i made the leche flan (creme caramel). it was my first time & i was sure it would become this discombabulaated mess after i attempted to flip & take it out of its mold..but to my surprise it came out perfect & in tact! i made two & gave the other to hubby & his co workers.

since i gave up sugar for this month i didn't get to taste it, so i relied on the verdict of the hubby & his co workers. turns out they loved it! a recipe success. i'll be adding this one to my recipe book. 

Crochet

i picked up crocheting as past time last year. it's not only fun but immensely therapeutic & creative. learning amigurimi has always been on my list of goals, so when it came down to choosing between knitting & crocheting..the obvious choice was crochet.

im self taught after watching youtube videos & even joined a crochet group that would meet once a month. my schedule started to fill up & my attendance to my crochet meet ups became inconsistent. slowly i stopped crocheting when wedding planning took priority. soon enough i forgot the basic patterns. 

ive picked up crocheting once again & enjoying the process of relearning the basics. i became ecstatic when my mom told me she picked it up as her retirement hobby! i love exchanging emails all about crocheting with her. 

cup sweaters & heart headbands were my projects when i first started last year. i made a ton of these as i practiced my basic stiches. they make great starter projects since they don't take long to finish...total immediate gratification for an impatient learner like me who wanted to have something tangible to take away from just having learned the art of crochet. 

LOVE day

this year was our first valentines as husband & wife. in the past we usually avoid the crowds & have a day date instead of dinner out. this valentines we decided to keep it low key, so the hubby & i stayed in & he cooked most of our dinner. it's such a nice treat for me since i usually do the cooking. 

he made my favorite (his version is truly the best! even better than olive garden) zuppa toscanna soup & bbq-ed rib eye steaks for us. i roasted brussel sprouts & lightly tossed then in balsamic reduction. our dinner was absolutely delicious!

i was so hungry that I didn't get a chance to take photos. however, i did take a photo of the soup prep & triple chocolate brownies i baked his co-workers. the brownies were made a festive with cake toppers i made the night before & i decorated the kitchen with heart garlands i crafted & reused from the previous year. 

                                      

score!

as with most teenage girls shopping & clothes use to excite me. i would say the same claim can be said during my college years & life in my early to mid twenties. it was after graduation & having way more time on my hands that i started to learn how to cook. it was around my late twenties that the thrill of shopping for clothes deflated. perhaps, it's realizing i have way more than i need with the combination of being a completely broke & struggling young adult post grad searching for any job to bring some sort of income that i actually started loathing shopping. i go through a series of questions (need vs. want, how functional is it, etc) before i buy anything these days. a huge majority of the time i put what i "think" i need back & walk out empty handed. ive learned to make do with what i have & loving the simplicity in not overindulging where i don't need to.

however, if their is one thing that excites me it is the acquisition of new cookware/bakeware! tell take signs of growing up..im sure. i had been hoping to stumble on a le cruset piece for years but alas no lucks during thrift store visit while hunting for vintage pyrex. this week after much patience I lucked out on a le cruset griddle pan! it's in excellent condition & instead of paying $150, I only paid $30! what a sweet deal! 

i was also gifted a new vintage pyrex to add to my collection from my sissy! it's been awhile since ive hunted since my collection is huge but it sure did feel nice to add something to my collection that i don't already own.

i couldn't wait to give my two new babies a bath & admire them after. grilled cheese sanwiches & tomato soup for the hubby next week! perfect for this rainy, cold, & gloomy weather we've been having in drought stricken california!

frenchie friday

training iggy to sleep in his own bed has proven to be harder on me than on iggy. im use to his cuddle snuggle ways & snoring along side me. it's now the 5th day & this is the longest ive gone without sneaking him back in bed. im sure the hubby appreciates the extra room on the bed but boy oh boy do i miss my little baby giving me cuddles. 

couponing 101

ive been really wanting to try my hand at couponing after hearing the ridiculous amount of savings left after purchase from some people. the photo above is my first couponing transaction. 6 items for less than $10! what an awesome deal! i was both perplexed & amazed while wanting to give myself a pat on the back on the drive home. amazed because i paid so little for everything. perplexed because my game plan of one transaction didn't quite work out & instead was split into two transactions from the cashier, which actually turned out in my favor. 

after watching more you tube videos & post briefing after with my friend who's been coaching me, i think im slowly seeing the main objective of how to coupon to get the best prices! i have a few couponing terms under my belt such as "ecb" & "matched deals" & have quite a ways to go as far as learning & stacking coupons in order to get the lowest deals!

what's also serving as my motivation to learn more is preparing a balikbayan (box sent over seas by filipinos containing goodies) box for my parents with the items they requested. items like paper towel, laundry detergent, dish washing soap, etc are items i always see on sale or have some sort of deal going on. these items can be stock piled for both my parents & myself. 

im terrible at math but determined to save where i can & shop wiser for basic living necessities! 

more paper projects

my little journey of craftiness & creativity started when i was gifted a cricut after my engagement. prior to that i didn't think i had a creative bone in my body. or perhaps i just never made the time. i love the excitement, exhilaration, & feeling of accomplishment when i've completed a project. it's allowed the perfectionist in me to be messy. to have failures & start over again if i didn't get something right. after all it's just paper right? :) 

here's a look back at two projects. 

cake topper for a friends birthday cheesecake. 

i made hot chocolate + marshmallow favors for my bridal shower. the font i used had these darling hearts. i printed out a "you warm my heart" tag to finish it off. 

i can't wait to grow my skills in this little area of my life that brings me such happiness & excitement!

glitter star bobby pins

i made these adorable glitter star bobby pins for a few girlfriends & their daughters. they were quite easy to make & all i needed were 3 items! gold star embellishment found at michaels (or you can even modge podge your own star shape & just add glitter), bobby pins, & a hot glue gun! it only took minutes to make & the end result were cute hair pins with a bit of sparkle! 

to finish it off i cut out some gift tags, attached gold ribbon, wrote a personalized message for the receivers, & placed the star hair pins on the gift tag. 

san francisco outting

the bff & i had a day date in sf today. i haven't seen her since our wedding so it felt great to be reunited again. we started our morning walking around haight street. we also scoped out the area in which she will be working at starting tomorrow. 

the bay area has been undergoing odd winter weather. while the east coast is experiencing their coldest winter, it feels like spring here. sometimes it's almost even like summer. with fall & winter being my favorite months i certainly miss cold & cozy winter days. however. we took advantage of sun's prescence & had lunch at delfina & ice cream at bi rite. 

i ordered my favorite spicy cauliflower dish. it's a combination of chewy, crunchy, soft, spicy, mild, & briny. absolutely delicious! we also shared pizza. after lunch we walked down the street for an obligatory salted caramel ice cream. 

emboss like a boss

being a paper craft nerd, anything paper related projects for our wedding, was something i looked forward to! in fact it was probably one of my most favorite parts of our wedding. 

to tie in with our accent color of gold, i embossed gold name tags for the groomsmen gifts. i loved the end result & it was much more friendly on the wallet than gold foiling from vendors. i found these awesome stamps at paper source that mimicked a vintage typewriter font. armed with my embossing gun, stamp pad, & gold powder my friday night in was spent diy-ing & having fun! 

mississippi crock pot

i saw this recipe floating around pinterest so i thought id give it a try. butter? yes! pepperoccini? heck yes! super tender meat? oh yeah! i set the crock pot over night so it would be ready by morning to pack for lunch at work. it took me less than 5 minutes to prep..so very quick & easy!

most reviews for this pot roast were promising. i don't think i saw more than one complaint or alteration amongst the reviews. however, while delicious i would definitely lessen the amount of butter next time around. the sauce was delicious but one whole stick was to much for the hubby & i. id like to add in some mushrooms & carrots too. 

mississippi crock pot: 

1 beef roast 

1 pack dry ranch dressing mix

1 pack dry au jus mix

handful of pepperoccini 

1 stick of butter 

1) dump everything in the crockpot

2) set on low for 8 hours

3) enjoy! 

the three B's

today i was in a hurry to cook lunch that doubled as my dinner to take to work. had some brussel sprouts & bacon in the fridge so i quickly made my no fail dish. balsamic glazed bacon & brussel sprouts. two birds with one stone & oh so yummy!

it's a party

a friend recently came into town from seattle to celebrate her birthday & we all had a blast celebrating her! one thing definitely is for sure...i can't party like i used to in my early & mid twenties. i was beat! i spent the next day in bed, sleeping, resting, & recovering. how did i do it back then? partying until early morning with only a few hours or even minutes sleep before reporting to work. only to go out again the next night. thinking about it is exhausting! nonetheless, good times were had!

friday night

the bff & i had a faith filled friday night at the launch of the dare to be event. hearts were lifted, hundreds of women raising their light, & daring to believe they we were made to shine from & through gods love & his purpose. a friday well spent! 

reusable bags

hubby & i hosted a welcome luncheon with guests the day before our wedding. we opted out of a formal dinner rehearsal & wanted to include others outside the wedding party. we thought a luncheon at the beach would be a great way for guests to meet one another. i ordered  reusable bags with our custom logo & made gift tags. i ended up loving the uneven, imperfect, & sometimes faded application of the letters i stamped. then i finished it off by neatly folding the bags & securely wrapping twine around it for a nice presentation. 

the guests ended up using it as beach bags, dirty laundry bag, & to haul snacks/food they purchased at nearby stands & market. im glad it was both multifunctional & useful! 

one month married dinner!

the hubby & i decided to celebrate our one monthaversary dinner at wayfare tavern. sometimes it just all feels surreal..like im going to burst from all this happiness!

today, i came home from work happy & excited to kiss my husband goodnight. i was off at midnight so even though he was already asleep i kissed him on the cheek & gave him an extra tight hug. ive always been so excited to come home to him but now im ten times giddy! newly wed bliss! im taking it all in..absorbing the goodness of this time in my life.

kielbasa skillet recipe

today, i finally got started on the laundry, unpacking, & cleaning that i needed to start. i have been putting off everything that needs to be tackled, since coming back, due to crazy times of waking up & sleeping, only to have a difficult time going back to sleep. major jet lag. yesterday, i decided that it was time to use an over the counter sleep aid to help me re-adjust back to normal sleeping times. i slept early & woke up at a decent time. hooray!

anyhow, today's lunch was a savory homemade kielbasa dish. the recipe is as follows. 

1 onion (diced)

1 pack of smoked kielbasa (cut diagonally)

2 red potatoes (diced)

1 yellow potato (diced)

handful of baby spinach leaves

2 tbsp dijon mustard 

2 tbsp cider vinegar

2 tbsp brown sugar

1) chop potatos & fry in oil 

2) set fried potatos aside & add in sliced keilbasa & onions. cook until brown.

3) add in dijon mustard, cider vinegar, & brown sugar to onions & keilbasa. add in potato. stir everything together. add in spinach until it reduces in size & wilts. 

enjoy with rice or eat as is! 

one month married!

a month ago to date i married my husband. its been pure newywedded bliss since & i'm soaking it all in. thankful. beyond grateful & incredibly blessed.  what will stay etched forever in my memory during this time in our lives is that extra squeeze in our hugs as we hold on to each other a little tighter. i'll never forget the extra tenderness in the words we express to one another & how proudly we both say "husband" or "wife."

everyone has different fairy tales they envision in their lives. ever since i was a little girl mine was my career. i put myself through college & sacrificed greatly for this.  it's been a difficult reality to face that my "happy ending" has not yet come. things don't go exactly as planned no matter how much i prepared. as always, in gods eyes, my timeline is not my lifes plan. hard work doesn't always guarantee the goal i had envisioned would come into fruition. even if its years of dedication. its been a struggle to accept that. i am still working on it. i have to keep putting in work. everyday, i remind myself that gods delays arent his denials.

the past 3 years have been a difficult one. i hit rock bottom. i felt depression like i've never known. i found myself in dark corners & endless pitfalls. god truly humbled & open eyes to realize i cannot do it alone. it is through my weakness that he is slowly strengthening me. it is through casting all my fears & leaning on god that i have learned how much i should depend on him. if theirs on dependable person in this world who won't fail me, it is god.

my husband saw me at my lowest. he wiped away every aching tear. always reassured me i'd have a place to go to. bought me groceries & made sure i ate. held me tightly when i didn't want to get out of bed. he has been such a huge support system & i found myself slowly asking for help. you see, when you've been accustomed to doing things on your own for a very long time its not easy asking for help. it made me feel stupid. i felt foolish. sometimes ashamed. i constantly beat myself up for not being able to provide for myself like i use too. i felt unworthy. still, i was loved despite not loving myself enough.

i truly believe god has his reasons to open certain doors. he also has his reasons to keep certain ones closed. even when i struggle to believe the latter because of my emotions, it doesn't change the fact of "according to gods plan." in his time & only he knows his reasons. in my quest to become an licensed registered nurse & land my first job, he opened the door to a fairy tale i didn't think would happen until years (2-3 years according to my life timeline) later. i was so fixated in my dream fairy tale of a career coming true that i didn't even see the proposal coming. what i didn't see coming turned out to be this huge blessing enveloping me in love. my husband teaches me about self kindness. a gift he reminds me to give myself.

i can't even begin to describe what an incredible journey being engaged was for me, let alone put into words the abundance of pure joy & overwhelming happiness i felt on our wedding day. up until that day on december 7,  i had never felt so much hope & faith not only in love but in life! it gave me a renewed sense of courage that i can tackle what life brings me firstly with god by my side & now an incredible man i get to call my husband!

their are times where i still feel pain in my heart & things are still unresolved but their is also love. a lot of love. an abundantly overflowing love that will only grow stronger, atleast i hope, over the years. love conquers & it is much more powerful than any pain or brokenness we experience in this world.

sometimes, in the middle of an ordinary life god gives you a fairy tale & the things happens not in accordance to your own timeline turn out be the biggest blessings. my husband is my biggest blessing & i'm infinitely grateful.

hello & farewell

a little over a week later, im still feeling quite jet lagged. bed time is in between the hours of 6(am)-8(am) instead of 10(pm)-11(pm). the hubby & i, when we do sleep early, wake up at random hours in the wee morning & their goes our efforts to sleep at a decent time. 

laundry has yet to be folded, were only half way unpacked, things need to go to storage or donation, grocery & meal planning need to commence & none or barely half of it has been done. 

as soon we arrived back from our honeymoon our main priority was spending time with my parents before they were off. my tito & tita hosted a small dinner at their house as both a welcome to the newlyweds & farewell to the retirees.

tito chris made the delicious duck, brussels sprouts, & the dacquoise..oh that chocolate espresso dacquoise it was beyond divine! crispy layers of almond & hazelnut meringue sandwiched in buttercream. it was gone in less than 10 minutes & had all of us wanting more! 

praise god!

today the hubby & i attended our first sunday service of this new year. how fitting that the topic was about "newlyweds." when i am in the presence of people sharing their vulnerable truths i am always so touched & humbled by their bravery to tell their story.

the pastor recalled a story of when he was a newlywed 35 years ago. he shared his anxieties about the role of being a husband in his twenties, with financial struggles, & a baby on the way. we even chuckled when he admitted "i wanted to return my pregnant wife to my father in law. i was so worried about not knowing how to figure all of it out." we left with the affirmation of gods continued prescence in our lives. the sermon, so fitting, of where i am in my life was gift. 

my hopes are that we grow stronger over the years & work hard to keep god as the center in our marriage. 

torta

that little pile of omelette stacks may not look the most appealing but it is hubby's favorite filipino food. ground beef, eggs, garlic, potatoes, onion, & tomato mixture with rice & a dalop of ketchup on the side. he can eat this for breakfast, lunch, & dinner! 

brown apple betty

i made my first brown apple betty last fall & it's something that i knew would become tradition every autumn & winter season. 

it's one of those "i don't have anything in my fridge or pantry" desserts that's so easy to throw together. after tearing/slicing apart pieces of bread (any bread works wonderfully) & slicing up some fruit (any seasonal fruit works from apples, pears, or peaches) you're not to far from a comforting dessert that's just as delicious as a traditional fruit pie or cobbler. it's so easy to make using only five ingredients! after layering the bottom of my pyrex with apple slices (i used 3 apples) i sprinkled one cup of brown sugar on top of the fruit slices. then i lay the sliced pieces of bread at the top. i add i cup of melted butter, sprinkle a bit of cinnamon, & bake in oven for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. 

no need to worry about making the  crust. the crunch of the bread gives this dessert a nice texture. it takes me about 20 minutes to make & its easier than pie! add a scoop of vanilla ice cream or dalop of whip cream & you've got a delicious & comforting all american dessert!

10 things you think about too often

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

―Albert Einstein

You do know you talk to yourself in your mind all the time, right?

Pretty much every one of us has a non-stop stream of thoughts – a mental monologue – that has a powerful impact on how we feel, how we behave, and how we live our lives.  Too often, this mental monologue consists of unhelpful thoughts that hinder our happiness and effectiveness.

Which is why it’s time to stop thinking about…

1.  Who everyone else wants you to be.

You were born to be you, not who they tell you to be.  You are not here to be perfect; you are here to be true.  Be gentle and kind to your heart and soul.  Accept who you are, where you are, and where you came from.

Don’t make a decision based solely on popularity, or based on what others think is right for you.  Just because others are doing something doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for you.

Listen to your gut.  Now is the moment to follow your intuition and pursue what matters most to you.  Reach deep within yourself and awaken to the purpose that moves you and makes you feel alive.  The world is filled with opportunities to do an infinite number of things, so why not align your efforts with the activities that speak to your soul.

2.  What you don’t have.

Instead of thanking the heavens for two strong legs and a body that’s capable of running and jumping and dancing, lots of people complain about their weight and appearance.

Instead of appreciating that they live in a country that protects their basic human rights and civil liberties, lots of people complain about laws, taxes, and politicians.

Instead of being grateful for the roof they have over their heads, lots of people wish they had a larger house and a fancier car.

Don’t be one of these people.

To witness miracles unfold in your daily life,count your blessings and be thankful for what you DO have.  Lots of people aren’t so lucky. 

3.  What you fear.

As Franklin D. Roosevelt so profoundly said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

That’s the honest truth.  The real thing that keeps you down is fear.  The reason your fears have so much power over you is simply because you give them this power by thinking about them – the worst-case scenario, what you don’t want to happen, etc.

It’s time to take a stand.  It’s time to clear your fears from your thoughts.  It’s time to acknowledge that your fear of grief is far worse than the grief you fear.

4.  Old mistakes.

Why regret?  This moment doesn’t have any mistakes in it yet.  It’s brand new.

You have a choice to make right here, right now.  You can hold onto old mistakes or you can make progress going forward with the new beginning you’ve just been given.

It’s time to be bold.  It’s time to stop reading the previous chapter of your life and start writing the one you’re currently living.  Learn from your old mistakes and march confidently on.  Sure you’ll make new mistakes along the way, but that’s the whole point – you want to learn from new mistakes, not rot alongside old ones.

Living means taking chances that are worth taking and making mistakes that are worth making.  Right now is simply a new chance to get it right, but you have to let go and take this chance.

5.  Old wounds.

You will grow much stronger and find peace once you stop picking at your old wounds.  Consciously replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is self-abuse.  Your past has given you the strength and awareness you have today.  Don’t let it haunt you.  Celebrate it.

Your wounds are your wisdom.  Let them heal.  Let them scar.

In order for this to occur, you must know why you felt the way you did, what you learned from it, and why you no longer need to feel that way.  It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward.

You may carry a small scar with you for the rest of your life.  Realize that this is perfectly OK.  A scar is the effect of healing – it’s what makes you whole again.  

6.  Impressing the wrong people.

You could spend your entire life trying to impress everyone around you.  Of course, it wouldn’t get you very far.

Purposely impressing people is an act that brings nothing but a fleeting ego boost.  Be real instead.  Connect with fewer people on a level that is deeper and more profound.

If you want to impress someone, impress yourself by making progress on something you’re sincerely proud of.  It’s truly amazing what you can accomplish when you aren’t worried about what everyone around you thinks.

7.  Important dreams you aren’t actively pursuing.

The point here is simple:  STOP thinking and START doing.

The road of life is jam packed with dreams that aren’t going anywhere.  Why?  Because the people driving these dreams haven’t started their engines.  So many people endlessly put off until tomorrow what they could do today.  There are literally millions of promising, intelligent people in this world who have no plan at all, who wait for others to drive and steer their lives and their dreams for them.

Having a dream without an action plan is exactly like a beautiful sports car without an engine.  You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can’t.  Turn your dream into an actionable plan and then start executing your plan.  Make no promise for tomorrow when you have the opportunity to make progress today.

8.  The impossible looking aerial view of a big project.

An aerial view of a big project always looks daunting.  But once you break it down into small parts, suddenly it’s no longer a big, impossible project.  It’s simply a bunch of little, achievable ones.

The key is to subdivide a big project into smaller tasks and break each task down further into logical steps for each task.  Thinking about the big picture is important on occasion to keep track of your progress, but on a daily basis you should be focused only on the step you’re taking at the time.

The toughest part is laying out what you actually have to do to get each task done, but it’s worth the time and effort.  By thinking about it, and breaking it down, you’ve already accomplished the hardest part – you’ve built yourself a step-by-step instruction manual for getting the project completed.  

9.  Situations you have zero control over.

Some parts of your life are simply meant to be lived, not controlled.  No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine.  Let the things you can’t control, happen.

Spend your thoughts and efforts on controlling what you do have power over, rather than wasting your peace of mind on the uncontrollable.

10.  Another time and place.

Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be.  But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.

The present moment is always filled with wonder.  Right now is a phenomenon.  Right now extraordinary things are happening.  If you are attentive, you will see them.

i received that in my inbox this morning & what a wonderful reminder to start 2014 by being in the present moment as much as possible!